


Invincible

by Kiterou



Series: My Magic Academia [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Avoidance, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Bullying, Introspection, Light Angst, POV Bakugou Katsuki, Uncertain Friendship, no beta we die like sir nighteye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28326432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiterou/pseuds/Kiterou
Summary: When Katsuki can't put a name to the things he feels, he pushes them away until only the easy ones remain. Like frustration. Like anger. He wants to wait until everything makes sense again, but when he notices that time has run out, it's already too late.
Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku
Series: My Magic Academia [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065380
Comments: 8
Kudos: 80
Collections: Genuary 2021





	Invincible

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T because it's Bakugou.  
> [Tagged as HP crossover because it is part of the MMA series. However, since this is Bakugou's PoV, there are no mentions of magic.]

**May 29th, 2138**  
Musutafu, Japan

Katsuki had never been to a funeral and now that he was, he hated it.

Mom and Dad were standing on either side of him. Dad was crying; Mom’s face was sad, too, but in that pinched way that meant that she’d keep herself busy and try not to show it. She’d been with Auntie Inko the last couple of days because Uncle Hisashi wasn’t there anymore.

He was dead, killed by a villain. It had been on the news because so many people died and All Might had beaten the villain.

But Uncle Hisashi still died and Katsuki only now really understood what that meant. It meant that Izuku wouldn’t have a dad anymore and that both Auntie Inko and Izuku were crying all the time. It made Katsuki feel itchy, like he wanted to do something about it, but he didn’t know what. He felt helpless in the face of their sadness, and the little boy hated feeling helpless.

When they finally left the funeral, Mom had to drag Auntie towards the car. Katsuki watched them and thought that Mom might know what to do. He looked at Mom’s hand on Auntie Inko’s shoulder, the way Auntie leaned on Mom as she sobbed, and then he looked at Izuku and took his hand in his.

Izuku still cried, but he also gripped Katsuki’s hand strongly during the whole ride home. Katsuki wanted to tell him to stop being sad, to stop crying, but Izuku had always been a crybaby, so Katsuki had to be strong for both of them. He didn’t know what it was like to have no dad, but it looked like it hurt a lot, because Izuku was crying a lot harder than the time he’d fallen down a tree and went to the hospital.

He wanted to make it all go away, but all he knew how to do was to hold on and give hugs and hope it was enough.

It wasn’t, not for a long time, and Katsuki hated the way that made him feel.

~~~

 **March 27th, 2139**  
Musutafu, Japan

A month before his fifth birthday, Katsuki woke up with the smell of burnt sugar in his nose and his bedsheets on fire.

(It was only a small patch, but he was five, so he yelled until Mom and Dad came running to put it out.)

One year after the awful day of the funeral and feeling helpless and not knowing what to do to make Izuku’s crying stop, his quirk finally came to him in the form of tiny explosions that kind of hurt his hands and held so much promise. It was like Dad said - a quirk of a hero, one that would only grow stronger the more he trained. And Katsuki wanted to be a hero for as long as he could remember. The past year had only added a desperate edge to that wish, one he didn’t understand in his young age.

He wanted to become a hero so that Izuku wouldn’t have to cry anymore. Not the way he did when he fell down and scraped his knee, or when Mom gave him a present or when Auntie Inko had to work late and Izuku missed her even when playing with Katsuki. No, Katsuki thought of those weeks after Uncle Hisashi was dead and gone, where Izuku’s smiles were rare and his tears always close. Katsuki thought of the way Izuku would just _huddle_ and cry, but very quiet and awful until Katsuki gave him a hug, and even that didn’t always work.

It was better now. Had been better for months, which was good. Izuku still missed his dad, but Katsuki would miss his dad as well, so that was okay. Now, with his quirk, he could become a hero and stop villains from taking away dads.

Maybe Izuku had gotten his quirk as well. It was _important_ because they were best friends and even with Izuku crying so very often and not jumping as far and high as Katsuki and sometimes being afraid, Katsuki wanted both of them to become heroes. Izuku always said he wanted to be like All Might, too, just like Katsuki, and that was okay as well - Katsuki just had to keep being better so that he would be All Might, and Izuku could be like Sir Nighteye. Izuku was smart with quirks and other things, maybe even a tiny bit smarter than Katsuki.

Izuku didn’t have his quirk yet, but he was happy about Katsuki’s, who showed off the tiny explosions to him and the teacher and the other kids in Kindergarten. Everyone was happy and in awe and it was easy to not think about the burning feeling on his palms.

“You need to get your quirk fast, ‘Zuku,” Katsuki told his friend, who watched his hands with big eyes and a bigger smile. It was hard for Katsuki to see that face and connect it to the awful, silent crying and sobbing that sounded like Izuku couldn’t breathe. The smile was so much better, which was why Katsuki made even more little explosions until his fingers ached. “We need to train and become the biggest heroes!”

“The best,” Izuku shouted and thew his hands up and laughed and Katsuki laughed as well and then the teacher ushered them out and to the playground.

Katsuki couldn’t wait to see what Izuku’s quirk would be. He hoped it would be a strong one like his.

~~~

 **October 3rd, 2140**  
Musutafu, Japan

Later, Dad would try and explain to him that he’d been frustrated. That that had made him angry and not Izuku. That Izuku had done nothing wrong, because how could he decide not to get a quirk after Katsuki waited for almost one and a half years?

And Katsuki would almost understand what Dad was saying, except that it was hard for him to accept it, that the thought of apologizing made him feel itchy and his stomach turn. That thinking about Izuku’s face, all sad and hurt and confused, wasn’t something Katsuki wanted to see again, and if he apologized, wouldn’t Izuku just think about it again and make the very same face?

Later, Katsuki would know what he’d done and why. At least some part of him, the less stubborn and confused and angry part.

But it wasn’t quite later yet. They were in school, it was recess, and Izuku was still quirkless and every other kid in their class had a quirk, and weren’t they supposed to become heroes together? But without a quirk, Izuku couldn’t become a hero, which would leave Katsuki to become one alone, and that frightened him.

Bakugou Katsuki hated to be afraid and feel helpless, and just like that terrible funeral day and the terrible sad weeks after, he was once again faced with a situation where he didn’t know what to do, where he couldn’t do anything, not even with his own quirk.

“A hero without a quirk is useless!” he shouted at his friend and hated the way Izuku looked at him, like he didn’t understand either, like Katsuki said something horrible, like he hurt again. “You’ll be useless, stupid Deku!”

And Izuku stared at him and then he cried, and everyone was watching. And Dad took him aside after school and told him that he was just frustrated, and that it wasn’t fair. And _that_ Katsuki could understand, because it _wasn’t fair._ They were supposed to become heroes together. They were best friends. They _promised_. But all Izuku had done was look at him with watery eyes and then cry, just because Katsuki had said the truth.

(And something bad. Katsuki couldn’t put it into proper words, the way that made him feel. Because Katsuki had seen Izuku cry a lot, and Izuku had cried when they played and he fell, or when Katsuki jumped across a ditch and Izuku was afraid, or after his Dad died, but that was the first time _Katsuki_ had made Izuku cry and his chest felt tight with something Katsuki didn’t know and didn’t want to feel anymore.)

Everyone had watched. Everyone had heard that stupid name. And because Izuku was a crybaby, the other boys didn’t really like to play with him. They liked to play with Katsuki, because he was the strongest and had the best quirk, but they only tolerated Izuku until he was the only one left without a quirk. So the stupid name didn’t go away and Katsuki could see Izuku’s face fall every time someone called him that.

It wasn’t his fault, Katsuki thought, but the ugly feeling in his chest remained stubbornly. Not his fault. He’d only said it once and not as nasty as the others did. But he’d said it first and that made him feel sick, so he didn’t say anything when the other kids called out to Izuku. He didn’t even want to look at Izuku, because he didn’t want to see his hurt face again.

If only Izuku had a quirk. One just as strong as Katsuki’s. Then they could laugh at it all and make fun of the others and train to become heroes and Katsuki could make sure Izuku never had to cry again.

So he waited, chest tight and stomach churning and looking away so that he didn’t have to see Izuku being so sad. He didn’t apologize and that made everything worse, and the frustration of it all just kept growing and growing.

It wasn’t his fault. But who’s fault was it, then?

~~~

 **May 20th, 2141**  
Musutafu, Japan

Months went by and _Deku_ didn’t. Every time Katsuki heard someone call out to Izuku like that, it stays in his chest and it _adds up_. They do other things, too, like pushing Izuku, or taking his stuff and hiding it, or make him trip when walking the corridor. They’d chase him around and just be shitty to him, but for a long while now Katsuki pretends he didn’t care. It was easier that way.

But it made him angry.

At what, though? He’d called Izuku Deku the first time. He’d called Izuku the same a few times after that, after Izuku made him angry with his sunny smiles (he’s still quirkless, why does he smile? They can’t be heroes together like this!) or flinches away from some kid’s taunts (like a weakling, and weaklings can’t be heroes either, what is _wrong_ with Izuku?). He got angry very often, these days, because the tight feeling never went away. Getting angry made him forget the feeling for a bit.

Should he be angry with the other kids? They were his friends. They followed him around and wanted him to show off his quirk and laughed at his jokes. Izuku did the same, but Katsuki didn’t know what to do with that.

It was all so very confusing, the way Izuku made him feel. He hated it.

And then Auntie Inko called Mom and Mom got all excited and two years after Katsuki, Izuku finally got his quirk.

_And it was so weak._

“You can make things warm,” Katsuki had said, the tightness in his chest pressing and pressing and it felt _awful._ Izuku ducked his head and he looked wrong like that, too. “That’s stupid.”

He had to look away when Izuku flinched and his face fell. Katsuki had no idea what to do, so he walked away, trying not to think of the times they had sat in his room and talked hours and hours about what they would do once they were heroes. How many people they would save, the villains they would fight.

The teacher told the class about Izuku’s quirk, but he couldn’t even properly do it when they crowded him during the break. Weak. Useless. Katsuki hated it.

Maybe it _was_ Izuku’s fault. He could try harder, he could work on it, make it hotter, make it _burn_. But no matter how long Katsuki waited for something to happen, Izuku kept being weak and kept being taunted and kept being _Deku_.

So Katsuki turned his back to him, because it was just too much and he didn’t want to feel that way anymore.

~~~

 **July 13th, 2145**  
Musutafu, Japan

Katsuki rarely thought about his old friendship with Deku these days. It was avoidance, which was probably better than confrontation, but the small margin between the two was not something Katsuki wanted to reflect upon. It was better to think of his own future - one that wouldn’t have Deku in it at all. Especially since he was old enough to put names on some of the things happening around him. Like the bullying, or the guilt he felt about it.

(But Katsuki was still just a boy, one who had poor control over his feelings. Just like Izuku, he felt too much too intense and it was hard to express it right, so he didn’t try it at all. Instead, he pushed it away, because what kind of hero would he be if he was weak himself? Better to forget about it.)

Not caring worked most of the times. Sometimes his anger got too much and he lashed out at the only viable source. But shouting at Deku and making him afraid never felt good, never made the other things go away. It left Katsuki tense and hollow and annoyed, so he tried not to do that, either.

It had been years since he’d visited Deku or stood up for him or played with him. Which was okay. Deku had decided to be weak, after all. Katsuki still remembered asking Deku to train together, to somehow make it work, desperately trying to salvage the situation, to make good on their promise. Remembered how Deku had looked away, almost ashamed, almost _guilty_ , and told him no.

So ignoring it was, because even when he was furious sometimes, lashing out at Deku only made it worse. It made him remember the awful times and the good times before, the times where Izuku would run towards him and then they would run around together and everything made sense.

And then Tsubasa said something, obnoxiously loud so that everyone in the class could hear, that brought all those memories to the forefront of Katsuki’s mind, and before he knew it he was standing in front of the kid, palms up and crackling with little explosions.

“What the fuck was that!” he yelled and he was _so angry_. He knew, with chilling intensity, that Izuku was crying somewhere behind him; crying in that awful, silent way because Tsubasa had said that with a quirk as boring as Izuku’s, his dad would be ashamed, so it was _good that he was dead anyway._

“Wh-what-” Tsubasa stuttered and Katsuki saw red.

Tsubasa’s desk ended up littered with scorch marks by the time the teacher entered the classroom. Nobody was saying shit. Not even Tsubasa, and he’d nearly pissed himself. Katsuki felt like a live wire, too much energy running through his body, his heart pounding in his chest.

He didn’t look to his left, but he could hear Izuku’s sniffling and wished he didn’t.

(It took him _weeks_ before he managed to make it _Deku_ in his head again.)

~~~

 **April 4th, 2146**  
Musutafu, Japan

The old hag had thrown him out of the house after burning up one too many of her stupid flowers. So he’d gone to the patch of woods close by the neighbourhood, where he’d used to play when he was little, and burned up the plants there, leaving the ground and some tree trunks scorched. Katsuki felt exhausted, but in a good way - he was making progress with the propelling thing. He reckoned that by summer, he could make it to ten meters of flight.

It was late in the afternoon when he made his way back home for dinner. When he saw Deku and Auntie Inko, he first wanted to ignore both, but then he noticed the luggage both were carrying. A couple of duffel bags and a case Deku was pulling behind him, a backpack slung over one shoulder. Like they were going on vacation, only that it was Sunday and tomorrow was Monday and school would start again.

“What the f-” Katsuki barely held the words back, glancing at the woman he’d known since he was in his nappies. “Hello, Auntie. D-Izuku. Where are you going? Tomorrow’s school.” Deku’s name felt foreign on his tongue, what with how long he’d avoided even _thinking_ of it. It brought back to many memories and complicated emotions that made him feel a way he didn’t like and didn’t want. It was hard for Katsuki not to glower too much, to keep his eyes on Deku’s stupid freckled face. Which was why he nearly missed Auntie’s incredulous, confused look.

“Izuku, sweetheart,” she started, and then _Deku interrupted her_ , with something like panic in his expression, and what the fuck was going on?

“Can you go ahead, Mom?”

“Don’t- there’s not too much time, sweetheart.” Time for what? What _was_ this? It wasn’t enough stuff for them to be on the move, and even then, Katsuki surely would know about this. He knew the old hag and Dad were still friends with Auntie. They’d have said something.

Fuck, _Deku_ would’ve said something, right?

“Deku,” he said, angry in his confusion because after years of practice, it was so easy to fall back on this. Only that Deku simply talked over him, something he normally never did (at least not since Katsuki had started to avoid him. Before that, Deku had been comfortable enough around him and yeah, Katsuki shouldn’t think about that.)

But that wasn’t important right now. Because Deku was talking right now and saying things that made no fucking sense.

“I’m switching schools,” was one of them. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I thought you-” 

For just a moment, Deku hesitated. Katsuki barely registered the pinpricks of pain on his palms, eyes glued on Deku and the way the other boy now avoided his gaze, body tense, talking bullshit. Switching schools? What the hell?

“It’s a boarding school,” Izuku said and he looked as if he was just about to cry and something cold and uncomfortable slithered down Katsuki’s back. “I’ll be back for the hols, but- I need to go. I have a phone, Mom’s got the number, but I didn’t think you’d want that, and I’m sorry!”

“Wait- _Deku, you little shit, what do you mean?”_ Katsuki yelled, but the rage felt fake even to him, and then he had to stop saying anything because his throat felt too tight and it was just like those awful days before he started looking away. Only that this time, it was Deku who ran away from-

He stopped that line of thought, frozen in place, hands now cold and clammy despite the warmth of spring still lingering in the air. He didn’t notice how heavy he breathed or how panicked his heartbeat was, or the way the blood was rushing in his ears. And then he was running, too, down the other way and towards home, barging through the door, wide-eyed and too full with things he couldn’t name.

Later, Dad would sit him down and try and talk Katsuki through all of this, like he had done when he was smaller. But Katsuki was too far away in his head, and all he could think about was that come tomorrow, Izuku wouldn’t be there anymore.


End file.
